David Davis

The new Bentley looks suitably impressive and expensive. But hardly different from any other executive-express. It also can run on “E85”, available at Morrisons, no less! I doubt that buyers of this car shop there much… This stuff is an 85% mixture of bioethanol with petrol. So when using that fuel instead of nice, famine-free fossil fuels, you can be sure you’ve just starved a few more Africans.

The trouble with big modern car firms like VW (yes it owns Bentley I think, so really this is a re-bodied Phaeton or Bugatti Veyron but who cares?) is that they feel bound to emply phalanxes of PR “executives” in various “communications” departments. This makes them vulnerable to assaults by greenazis, with whom the PR chappies and chappesses went to “uni” probably, and may well have shagged each other while students.

If they didn’t bother to employ these useless wastes-of-rations, in “communications”, then they’d be…

(a) functionally deaf to media-assaults about “non-renewable fuels”, and about “polluting the environment” by not using “bio fuels”

(b) able to afford more engineers and guys at draftsmen’s tables, producing even nicer cars,

(c) not make all their cars look like one another, by passing the desings through fascist-filtering wind-tunnel-software,

(d) able to bring the crypto-terrorist inclinations of the greens out in the open: frustrated as the greens would become, they would turn to terrorism and destruction of car plants, and THEN we will see where “governments” stand. Placate the greenazis or the labour unions?