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Citizen Safety Directive no:326

Fred Bloggs.

It’s times like this that makes me sure that Mr. Orwell got his dates a bit wrong.
I’ve now heard that the Police are using UAV’s and the government is planning on getting even bigger ones. This means that, in addition to all the CCTV cameras dotted liberally (no pun intended) around the landscape, you can also be watched from 50,000 feet.

All this goes on without you knowing however, so you will be able to expect parking, speeding, and, knowing this lot, littering fines dealt out like a bolt of lightening from the gods above. Shortly after this, we, knowing our luck and their determination, will be seeing these things being armed with missiles and smart bombs. Indeed, health and safety will take a sinister turn, for you will be driving along without your seatbelt on, by accident or on purpose, then BOOM! a streak of fire will rain down upon you and end your criminal ways, for you have to remember:
“Driving without your seatbelt on is dangerous.”

3 comments


  1. Christ, that’s the second time tonight (the first was when somebody told me that “Bradley from Eastenders” was going to commit suicide live, on television) that I haven’t been at all sure if somebody is serious, or engaging in satire. I dunno about 1984 but sometimes I think i’ve slipped into a Philip K Dick novel…

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