David Davis

Rant

This poor woman complains that children hang themselves when allowed Wireless Tele Visions in their bedrooms: they watch “inappropriate material”, and decide to die.

I have no knowlegde about that sort of thing. I have never decided to hang myself after watching anything (albeit rarely these days) on the Wire-Less Tele Vision Machine. However, I have decided that Libertarians should agree that Adults should be banned from having Wireless Tele Visions in their bedrooms. Here’s why:-

Mostly, when it is on in the bedroom (which I regret having allowed about two years ago, when I was forced to go and buy a “flat screen TV” for this purpose) my dear wife is watching some “reality” “TV” “programme” about cooking something where the “chef” has to manually handle the food – why is it always freshly-cooked fish? –  in close-up at all stages even after having cooked it: or fashion-shows for narcissistic lardbutts, or “home improvement”, whatever that concept means. (Homes are for being lived in and for keeping stuff in out of the rain, like books and scientific instruments, they are not for being “improved”.)

All I want to do in the bedroom these days, within the spectrum of pursuits allowed to me by my dear wife, is read a number of books all at the same time, and so to have many of them at hand on the floor. (The pile at my side of the bed keeps being “tidied up”, which means I then can’t find any of the right ones at all, as they are all in the wrong order and piled up (and up and up) by size and colour instead of subject.)

I cannot concentrate on a book’s text if some arsehole on the telly is spouting.

So, I think the BBC should send round its detector vans and immediately imprison (and afterwards fine heavily)  anybody caught watching the house’s Wireless Tele Vision Machine in the bedroom.