Oh the irony

Fred Bloggs

A woman recently attemped to rescue a seagull from some mud, but got stuck herself, which apparently warrented the use of two fire engines and twelve firemen, if it had gone on any longer they probably would’ve sent in a armoured brigade, fourteen helecopters and a destroyer.

At the end of it all a spokesperson announced that the bird had to be put down.

I couldn’t even write this stuff.


  1. Trouble is, Fred, you wake up from what you think is the bad dream, and you find all the stuff still there.

    Modern Britain for you: wonder if they’d go to such lengths in, say, Singapore? She’d have been charged, with attempting to release unlicensed animals from something or other….

  2. I’ll tell you a secret, she didn’t give a monkey about the seagull, but my oh my, those lovely firemen. As us girls like to say, by fair means or fowl
    Mummy x

  3. Cor you old smoothy David *Mummy flicks hair and enjoys being young*. How do you ‘expand’ these young people, is it on a rack? snigger. I read pretty much the same bloggs as you do, but I don’t really know if they are young or old. I can only spot the dead ones – like LabourList.
    Mummy x

  4. Would _you_ like to be a guest writer, mummy? I’ll give you a _blauschein_ onto here if you want.

    Seriously, this blog wants more writers. I shan’t live for ever! xx

  5. Cor Blimey *Mummies head swells to fill the universe*, yes please, I’d love to. I must ask though, this ‘blauschein’, it’s not going to hurt is it? Is it part of the ‘expanding’ thing, cos that does sound nasty.
    Mummy x (with big head).

    • The “blauschein” wan’t hurt, honest, guv!

      “Blausheine” were actually “blue badges” which were issued by the “general government” of the 3rd Reich, in occupied Poland, from 1939 to 1944. they were especially for Jews, to “identify” them, and to “permit them to work”. If you didn’t have one, you could not end up having your character being filmed by S-Spielberg in Schindler’s List.

      The “house name” here in Lancashire Towers for a tax disc for a “vehicle” is a Blauschein.

  6. Hi mummy!
    As u r a wordpress user, all I need is your email (NOT your wordpress ID!)that you logged with WP (I do NOT need your password.) I can then invite you via WP to write/etc and the electricity thingies will do their thingy.

    Please send it to drakeatrevenge@aol.com

    • Tony, pls send me your email that you used to get onto wordpress originally (I DON’T need your password) and I will put you on as a contributor. Usual simple rules apply….please! DD

  7. And Tony!

    I’m not doing this thing here, when you write for us, for you to tell the world what a scumbag Chris T was for being stupid etc, and marginalising libertarians or whatever, and how Thatcher was a closet World-Governmentista etc!

    We are here to popularise the notions that individuals can take better decisions than governments can do for them.

    Everybody on the sodding blasted planet now knows that Bush blew up the Twin Towers on purpose with Thermite, so there’s no point in restating it! 😉 That’s of course why Obama got elected – it was nothing to do with Obamagirl….

    So pls log back to me and get writing. DD

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