SOME SPOILERS AHEAD
After one episode, I can only say: Oh dear, how sad, never mind.
The whole point of the first two seasons was to get Baby Yoda into the hands of Luke Skywalker, and as such they did the job quite well. After the truly appalling ‘Last Jedi’ movie, the Star Wars franchise needed to stop shooting itself in the foot with bland Wokist nonsense and managed to do so – at least in contrast with the terrible movies – with the first two seasons of the Mandalorian.
However, having become Disney’s best Star Wars property, the series obviously came under the jealous beady eye of their senior Woke Executive, Kathleen Kennedy. As such, she has murdered it just as she has butchered everything else before it.
To get forgiven for breaking one of the utterly insane rules of his unforgiving religion, the Mandalorian is given a seemingly impossible and pointless task which will no doubt take up the entire eight-episode season. To save him from this task, all it would’ve taken was for one single woman to say ‘there were extenuating circumstances, I forgive you’. That’s it, that’s all she had to say and the entire eight hours of televisual ‘drama’ would have been rendered non-existent.
It’s hardly the ‘iron crucible’ required by all otherwise decent novels, movies, poems, plays, and comic books, where an antagonist is forced to strain against the entire depth of their character to triumph against implaccable evil to achieve a noble and desirous worthwhile end.
Instead of devoting himself to this stupid insane task, all the Mandalorian himself had to then say was, ‘I’m not doing it. I’d rather drink some cocktails’. And the whole season would’ve disappeared in a second puff of Force Magic.
But no, she says ‘you’ve got to do this stupid pointless thing’, and he says ‘okay’.
And I said ‘drama’, above, but I was being kind. What follows is bland, slow, and predictable.
This dreariness is interspersed with puzzling scenes, such as where one woman waits for possibly months – while sitting on a throne in a steel castle at the end of a long corridor for no clear nor obvious reason – merely to tell the Mandalorian the next part of the plot.
This whole piece of exposition takes up about five minutes of screen time, though it felt like fifteen. Yes, I know even ‘Breaking Bad’ was encrusted with cheap ‘filler’ material, particularly the long tedious conversations between Skyler and Marie, but at least ‘Breaking Bad’ broke up those conversations with many exciting and explosive moments of action.
The Mandalorian has nothing like that. Instead, there are just silly CGI scenes where you know beforehand that the Mandalorian will kill all the baddies without even breaking into a sweat.
Alas, the one potential saviour of the Star Wars franchise has fallen back into the morass of all the other Woke junk produced by Disney. Oh, what a terrible shame.
So, Andy, was there anything good in it at all? Well, without any explanation Baby Yoda is back, after spending approximately five seconds of in-universe time with Luke. His rapid return makes the first two seasons utterly pointless of course, but you can never get enough Baby Yoda!
Though I’m unsure whether it’s enough to save the bacon.
Anyhow, that’s enough writing now. I think you’ve got the point!
It really ain’t John Wick 4!