By Sierra-Jane Mitchell
I just read this article—no, diatribe—called “Hippocrates on Health and the Fat Boys at My School” by some British teenager named Bryan, and I am absolutely trembling with disbelief. Not because I’m afraid of him (please, I’d flatten him like a poorly baked croissant in a poetry class), but because I cannot believe we are still, in the year 2025, platforming this kind of fatphobic, vinegar-drenched nonsense.
Let me introduce myself properly: I weigh 500 pounds and I am proud of every glorious ounce. This body is a temple—a vast, curvaceous temple with many wings, grand archways, and possibly a gift shop. My thighs touch. My arms jiggle. My stomach enters a room slightly before I do. And you know what? I love that for me.
While Bryan is out here scrubbing himself with vinegar and quoting Hippocrates like he’s giving a TED Talk in a haunted bathhouse, I’m living my truth. I wake up every morning, look in the mirror, and smile at the magnificent landscape that is me. I don’t need abs to be beautiful. I am the whole dessert table. I am a Renaissance painting. I am what happens when you stop counting calories and start counting blessings.
And yet here comes Bryan, sniffing like a disapproving Puritan with a Greek dictionary, describing fat people like we’re something he found in a neglected fridge. He uses phrases like “slowly decomposing in public” to describe his classmates. Okay, sir—just because your idea of a good time is sipping spring water and glaring at people doesn’t mean the rest of us are rotting.
He writes like someone who just discovered the word “moderation” and now thinks he invented ethics. Bryan, darling, moderation is for salad. I live abundantly. When I walk into a room, I arrive. When I sit on a bench, it knows it’s been sat on. That’s power. That’s presence. That’s body-positive architecture.
What’s really hilarious—like, unintentionally funny in the way that makes you want to write a blog post—is how obsessed he is with other people’s bodies. Honestly, if you swapped out all the fatphobia and vinegar references, his article reads like a fanfic set in a Roman gymnasium. He goes on and on about male sweat and shirtless self-control like it’s a Homeric epic. I mean, Bryan, are you okay? You can come out whenever you’re ready. No one will be surprised. Except maybe your vinegar supplier.
He even tries to frame his nastiness as some kind of intellectual courage. Like, congratulations, you got scolded at school for body-shaming people in fluent Attic Greek. You’re not Galileo. You’re a mean kid with a word count.
I’m not saying Bryan’s a bad person. I’m just saying he writes like a boy who’s never been hugged by someone over 120 pounds. And that’s a shame. Because hugs from big girls? That’s a full-body experience. We don’t do side-hugs. We engulf. We comfort. We absorb sadness. We are the human equivalent of weighted blankets with opinions.
And another thing: I do not smell like a food bin. I smell like cocoa butter and self-acceptance. Bryan can keep his vinegar. I moisturise with intention. I wear kaftans with confidence. I eat cupcakes on the bus and dare people to stare. Because I love myself in high-definition, and that’s something you can’t wash off with apple cider.
So here’s my message to Bryan: sweetheart, you’re not a philosopher. You’re a skinny boy with a superiority complex and a damp towel. I hope one day you realise that beauty isn’t about being able to see your own ribs. Sometimes it’s about loving yourself enough to order the second entrée and dessert.
Until then, I’ll be over here—fat, fabulous, and frankly too full for your nonsense.
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If you are comfortable with weighing 500 lbs., that’s your health problem. Young people should be taught ideals, passed down from previous generations and continuously discovered by investigators. Ideals of beauty should be based (and generally have been based) on objective advantages, which means there is an intersection between aesthetics and biology. The simple fact is that body mass index recommendations (considering both height and weight) are based on evolution. Your opinions on the matter are not based on science and hence are not relevant to discussion among reasonable people. The laws of reality are not determined by your feelings.
In some climates like near the Arctic circle, fat is a survival trait. Even so, expected lifespans for Inuit are 21-25% lower than non-Indigenous Canadians. If we lived in a deep ice age, evolution would tend to make us shorter and more subcutaneous fat (for cold adaption) like Neanderthals, but we Sapiens simply dressed warmer and used long range weapons (so less need for large muscles). But I know of no climate wherein weighing 500 lbs would be a positive factor, particularly if the extra weight were from fat and on a planet with earth-like gravity.
Further, your discussion of your ability to “flatten him like a poorly baked croissant in a poetry class” goes beyond the Pale of civilized discussion, and your reference to a poetry class are inexplicable.
[…] Blog to publish all responses that are not illiterate and not likely to get us into trouble. The recent attack on me is neither. However, I am so suspicious of some of its wording that I will not express the disgust […]